Holler at Trantorial's big blog

Chocolate fondants

2011-02-18T07:59:00.002Z

Makes 2

Two ramekins
Baking tray
Saucepan (medium)
bowl to melt chocolate

60g unsalted butter
1 tbsp cocoa powder
60g dark chocolate
1 egg and 1 egg yolk
60g caster sugar
1 tbsp plain flour

1. Pre-heat the oven to 200C, and put a baking tray on the middle shelf. Butter the inside of 2 small ramekins or pudding moulds, and then put the cocoa in one and turn it to coat the inside, holding it over the second mould to catch any that escapes. Do the same with the other mould.

2. Put the butter and chocolate into a heatproof bowl set over, but not touching, a pan of simmering water and stir occasionally until melted. Allow to cool slightly.

3. Vigorously whisk together the egg, yolk, sugar and a pinch of salt until pale and fluffy. Gently fold in the melted chocolate and butter, and then the flour. Spoon into the prepared moulds, stopping just shy of the top – at this point the mixture can be refrigerated until needed, or even frozen, as the puddings will not wait around once cooked.

4. Put on to a hot baking tray and cook for 12 minutes (14 if from cold, 16 if frozen) until the tops are set and coming away from the sides of the moulds. Be very precise on the timings. Leave to rest for 30 seconds and then serve in the ramekins or turn out on to plates. Serve with clotted cream or ice cream.

How to make marmalade jam

2011-01-30T20:05:00.005Z

Ingredients:
1.5kg Seville oranges
2 lemons
3kg granulated sugar

Equipment:
Large, heavy aluminium pan with lid
Medium saucepan
Muslin/double gauze
Large sieve/colander
7/8 Jars
Small plates
Large roasting tray
Ladle
Knife
Chopping board

To sterilise the jars, wash them thoroughly in warm soapy water, rinse and dry them, then place in a medium oven for five minutes.

Lightly scrub the oranges and lemons and place them in the pan. Add 6 pints water and bring it all up to a gentle simmer with a lid on, for three hours. Check periodically if water is evaporating and keep topped up. Remove the preserving pan from the heat and allow everything to get cool enough to handle.

Lift the fruit out of the liquid and into a bowl. Cut the oranges in half and scoop out all the inside flesh and pips as well, straight into a medium sized saucepan. Do the same with the lemons but discard the peel.

Using a ladle, add 1 pint (570 ml) of the poaching liquid to the fruit pulp, then place the saucepan over a medium heat and simmer for 10 minutes.

Line a large sieve/colander with gauze, place it over a bowl, and strain the contents of the saucepan through the sieve. Leave it all like this while it cools and drips through.

While you are waiting for it to cool, cut the halves of peel into quarters then cut them into chunky strips. Add to the preserving pan.

When the pulp is cool, gather up the corners of the muslin and twist it into a ball, then, using your hands, squeeze all of the pectin-rich juices into the preserving pan. Squeeze like mad so that every last bit of stickiness is extracted and you're left only with the pithy membranes of the fruit, which you can now discard. When you have added the strained pectin, stir the liquid, orange peel and pectin together and just leave all of this overnight, loosely covered with a clean tea-cloth.

The following day, empty 3 kg granulated sugar into a large roasting tin then place it in a warm oven, gas mark 3, 325°F (170°C), and allow it to warm gently for 10 minutes. Then place the preserving pan and its contents over a gentle heat and as soon as it starts to warm through tip the warmed sugar into the pan.

Using a large wooden spoon, stir the marmalade, keeping the heat gentle, until all the sugar crystals have fully dissolved. What you must not do is let the marmalade boil until all the sugar is completely dissolved otherwise it will be difficult to set and the finished jam will be sugary. Keep checking as you stir.

Once dissolved, turn up the heat and let the marmalade bubble away gently – it can take 3-4 hours for it to darken and develop its lovely rich flavour. When the marmalade has been cooking for 2½ hours place some small flat plates in the fridge.

To test for a set, after 3 hours draw the pan from the heat and spoon a teaspoonful of marmalade on to a chilled plate. Allow it to cool for a minute back in the fridge, then push it with your little finger – if a crinkly skin forms, it has reached setting point. If not, continue cooking and do more testing at 15-minute intervals.

When it has set, leave the marmalade to cool for 30 minutes – to prevent the fruit rising to the top in the jar – before ladling through a funnel into the warm sterilised jars. Seal the jars while they are hot, then label the next day when cold. Store in a cool, dry place. Too much light is not good for storage, while a damp or steamy atmosphere can cause mould to develop on the surface of the marmalade.

Lol I is well bored

2008-03-19T13:43:00.003Z

It is true.

Days off from work don't really seem to make you 'refreshed' or 'eager' (in a work sense, you pervert).

They just make you remember what it was like to be a student, only now you get paid buckets of money while you're having time off. Ah, to be a gazillionaire...

On an unrelated note, my Googlewhack experiment worked. Yay. Although its technically not a real word, but I don't care. I now have a unique Google search thing, so in your nerd faces.

If you like cynical, midly amusing video reviews then clicky linky. If you don't then don't. See if I care.

A revelation

2007-08-03T15:28:00.000Z

Hang on. Given that Facebook is banned from all company servers, doesn't that make this the place to be once again? From 9-5 anyway.

Man walks into a bar, and asks for an innuendo. So the barman gives him one.

An experiment

2007-08-02T13:06:00.000Z

I reckon no-one uses Blogspot anymore, what with this new fangled Spacebook (or whatever). And no-one ever read my blog before anyway, so I feel fairly confident that I'm writing this purely for my own benefit.

Anyway, here's the experiment. First person to say the word "truculent" to me wins a shiny pound coin.

That's it. Deadline is 26 August.

Louise and Mark's wedding - the unofficial footage

2007-05-31T15:36:00.000Z

Last weekend saw the communion of Marie's sister Lou, and a rather lucky gent called Mark (or Staff Sergeant Jarman to you, sunshine). Much fun was had by all, as hopefully the collection of photos and videos below show.

Your carriage awaits:

A moment of serenity in a morning of blue-arsed chaos:

The signing of the register:

Ahh, bless:

Three generations:

Bride, groom, best man and the comedy turn (see later):

"Sir" steals a kiss:

A lovely little collection of shots now, so I'll keep quiet for a bit. This is probably my fave though:

And so to lunch:

On your marks, get set, EAT!

Victory is mine:

A rather fine baileys and chocolate masterpiece:

That's a big chopper, ahahaha. But I digress:

Hazel, aka Lou's aunty, aka "The Gannet", for those who saw the arrival (and demolition) of her slice of cake:

Awww no, he's going to cry again!

"And that's the key for the back door!" (Rest of joke available upon proof of age):

Andy: "Ave it!"
Robbo: "You jammy b******"

Help!

The end of Spoof:

Sgt Moneybags:

The first dance:

AS YOU WERE! (apologies for the angle of the picture)

Giggle giggle:

"You'se me best sister, you are. Hic."

Me and the wife:

Grainy footage from the second night, of Marie, Mark and Lou wondering where I was. In the kebab house, duh!

May they have many happy times ahead of them.

STOP PRESS: To add to the celebrations, Lou has just been told by her CO that she'll be made Sergeant imminently. Congratulations!

Squeaky bum time

2007-05-23T15:19:00.000Z

To use the vernacular of a man whose emotions are probably better described at the moment as 'sour grapes' time.

It's teh big match tonight. I have mixed emotions regarding our chances, though they may be summed up by the following bets, recently placed:
Pool to win 2-1 in normal time 33-1, £2
Pool to win in extra time 31-1, £2
First goal to be scored in 61st to 70th minute 32-1, £2
Kaka to score during the 90 minutes 33-10, £5

Whatever happens, at least we can say we were in with a chance, and hadn't pissed it up the wall three weeks ago.

Non-partisan posts to resume soon.

Should you be wanting a little sing-song.

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-05-01T21:38:00.000Z

The adrenaline hasn't worn off enough to fully realise what a bad post this would be if we lost the final, but:

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Luntino shares the sentiment:

Millhouse, er, doesn't quite join in the spirited celebrations:

And finally, we must pay tribute to a man central to the whole glorious event. A man who manages once again to throw hundreds of millions of pounds-worth of talent down the swanee. A man who tirelessly devotes his energy to proving that money can't buy you success. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you:

There's only one obvious link that will fit the bill here. 'nuff said.

Freedom!

2007-04-21T21:00:00.000Z

And with that final flourish of the biro, exams were over for another bout and the festivities could begin.

The usual suspects headed off on Friday night for beer, food, more beer and (inevitably), casino and beer. Three of us lasted long enough to find the idea of gambling our hard earned money a good idea. 'Stanley' continued his impressive casino streak by cleaning up at the roulette table:

Millward entertains the idea of sharing his new-found wealth.

And continuing his streak, Will stuffs all his money up the spout, and contemplates the long walk home:

Ah, happy days. Though this morning wasn't so happy, as the beer mugger had struck during the night. My poor old head. That made today's shopping excursion all the more painful, though briefly enlivened by the discovery of this book at Waterstone's:

Readers of OG's blog may have stumbled across the link to Mr Tourette's? Well, it turns out they've made a book of it - and brilliantly, have put one such highly offensive cartoon on the cover. The old guy reading the novel next to me clearly saw the funny side.

A bit specialist, but if you're ever hosting a poker night and need a good blind organiser thing, you could do worse than this gem. The in-game stats (average stack etc) are especially useful for reducing Mullock's thinking time to sub-10 minutes.

Nearly four months

2007-04-14T21:38:00.000Z

Post #10. Will wonders never cease.

I would have probably got round to it at some point, but Mward has moved me to retaliate-post. I feel it's only just and fair.

So there.

Ah well, exams nearly over. Then a life filled with beer, barbecues and banter for a good few weeks before it all starts up again. Sigh.

Still, not many left to go now - then I can sit back on my qualified arse, counting my piles of money while the band 2s continue to do all the REAL work, for a bloody pittance.

Tchoh.

Linky-linky. This is a little slow to get going, but is most impressive editing. Little bit of a spoiler here, but worth noting that a number of times, you see both protagonists in the same shot. Clever.

We wish you some merry banter

2006-12-23T22:07:00.000Z

Nowt much, just to say to you all (both?) have a fine week of prezzies, food and alcohol - and most importantly, no work.

Oh, and if any of the gambling fraternity are around on 28th, then there's a £20 buy-in Hold 'Em tourney at Stanley casino in Manchester. 9pm start, me Mill Mullock and Will are in the mixer - if anyone wants a piece, lemme know.

A festive message from the man himself, Tramp 'O' Claus

2006-12-06T23:22:00.000Z

You want Family Guy? Huh? HUH?

Millward's second e-home has inspired me to stick this gem on. I don't have the knowledge of FG that MM has, but this is my favouritest clip ever (works best with sound).

Emjoy.

Och aye - the news

2006-11-15T22:49:00.000Z

Last Thursday, Caz and I jetted off to Edinburgh to put ourselves through two gruelling days of CA2. Once all those festivities were done, her and him came up for a weekend of seeing sights, eating food and drinking a drink. Then Caz and MD would fall asleep, as it is well documented that all (to be) married people are utterly useless when it comes to partaying.

Still, much fun was had by all. If I was to choose a UK city to live in other than good ol' Manc, it'd likely be Edinburgh. Despite not taking a camera, we still managed to get a few pics on my phone:

First off, a fox in the grounds of Edinburgh castle that Caz and I stumbled across, during a romantic stroll round Edinburgh on the Thursday night. The bit later on where I enticed Caz into an unlit graveyard, then ran away to leave her screaming at me in the darkness was sadly never recorded for posterity.

The statue of Greyfriar's Bobby, the story of whom I'm sure you're all familiar with.

Me in 'comedy' pose outside my sister's old gaff on the Royal Mile.

The might fine Christmas tree in Jenners (like a Scottish 'arrods, fine to look around as long as you don't want anything).

An excerpt from a sign at (another) cemetary, highlighting the various luminaries that rest there. Most impressive was Adam Smith, but that's not what caught my eye. Childishly, #15 had me giggling for a good five minutes after.

(NB #16 is also notable, if only for the reason that she's apparently famous just for shagging someone else more famous (I forget who) - and I thought that sort of 'celebrity' was just a modern day thing).

An obscure one - a fairly nondescipt building, but with an interesting story. In summary, due to a high incidence of people pinching corpses from the cemetarys and flogging them off, such buildings were put up so the resident guard could make sure no-one was leaving the adjacent graveyard in a non-conventional way.

And finally, a bit of humour - readers of Viz especially might get the reference. If you look closely at the sign it all becomes clear, but still - a piece of advertising genius.

Huh? Wha'? I've been following the sage advice on this site for a few months now, but suddenly it's all gone very theoretical and techy. Luckily my normal play doesn't get as in depth as this, else you'd have to wait a good five minutes each time for me to work it all out before I folded.

Oooh, that looks Saw

2006-11-04T21:16:00.000Z

Well, I was kind of right. Stu got jack shit once again, Daniels spawned two wins with his usual tactic of folding for two hours, then trying to double up at the death. And to think I get called for tight play...
Gaz predictably had no clue what was going on - with comedy results as Mullock tried to use some extreme poker psychology on him. Given that Gaz's only concerns for the night were seeing the Everton highlights on Match of the Day, and knowing who'd been kicked out of Lame Academy (or whatever), the strategy kind of fell on it's arse.

A good weekend all round - pictures of the Friday will hopefully follow.

I myself rounded off the weekend by watching Saw III with my good lady. Not bad, if you liked I and II you'll go and watch it anyway, but it's the least shocking of any of the trilogy. So all those reports of people fainting in the aisles just goes to show what a bunch of jessies people are these days.
For the record, and to avoid looking like I'm trying to make myself out as some hardcore horror nut, I last watched 28 Days Later about a year ago, and I still get the heebie-jeebies if I'm home alone. Now there's a great horror film.

Some other miscellany - just discovered Corel 6 on my laptop (or a 60 day trial anyway) - quite impressed by what it can do. For example, a photo taken from last year's skiing trip:

And now the same photo, but having used the 'Quick Fix' tool in Corel:

Clearly, it's not perfect (for instance, you can still see Mike in the picture), but it impressed me anyhoo. The internal dilemma of whether to shell out 50 beans for the full version rages on...

Today, a video of one of my boarding tricks - I didn't let on about this before because I didn't want to show the rest of the party up. As you'll see, there's no boarding frontier left for me to conquer now, so bring on the skiing in Val Thorens!

A, erm, not very big moment

2006-10-26T20:14:00.000Z

Yes, this is it ladies and gents. After much graft and devotion, my fifth post. It may not match OG's 201 posts (no, wait, 202...nope, 203....no, hang on...), but what I lack in quantity I like to think I make up for in content*.

In a departure from most blogs, todays dose of drivel is about something that's about to happen, rather than something that's already happened. I'm talking of this weekend (natch), with a crazy night out with the boy Manikai planned tomorrow, and a chance for me to supplement my meagre salary at the expense of everyone else with a big poker night on Saturday.

Clay heads back to SA in the near future, and with any luck tomorrow's send-off will have rich doses of the randomness and hilarity through which he's made his reputation over the years. If I (or RL) remember to take a camera tomorrow, pictures should surely follow.

Then with our heads still thumping from the Friday, it's off to MJD's pad (read: Manor House occupying half the landmass of Stalybridge - at least that's how he describes it) for a good ol' road game. With two of the game's pillars off in the Apple, the Don also absent, and the three of them replaced by fresh fish (Gaz: "Damn. All I've got is four of these 'ones'". Everyone else: "Fold!". Lunt "Zzzzzz"), it should be a fine event. For the record, I predict:

Me to pick up about £20 (from a £40 buy-in), thus hemorrhaging money once again.
Bradbury to nail the first game, then get nowt in the rest, but spend the whole evening banging on about how he's off to KPMG.
Gaz to snaffle the £90 jackpot in game 2, despite not knowing what's going on, but being a jammy twunt.
Mullock to spend 95% of the evening staring at people, asking for chip counts, putting people on cards, and asking how the betting has gone so far, 4% of the time drinking and 1% ACTUALLY PLAYING POKER.
Lunt to auto-fold half of the second game and all of the third, by virtue of being unconscious.

Tune in next week to see if I'm the next Nostradamus!

Mike, Mark, no intention here to make you feel like you're missing out - I'd love to be over in Noo Yoyk an all.
OG, every intention to make you jealous. Ha.

*not a guarantee

No-one will have noticed, so I'll mention that from now on, the 'Defiance' pic will change links each time I update my blog, with whatever's caught my eye. Today: A past from the (fairly recent) past, just because it makes me smile. Especially the ginger one.

Schmucks!

2006-10-03T20:51:00.000Z

**Warning - political content below. I'll try not to do this very often, but it's fair got my back up. Just skip to the end for more TV banter**

You've probably seen this already, but the Yanks have gone and buggered something else up. Off the back of a number of high-profile arrests of executives of leading internet gambling companies, the House of Reprehensibles has passed a bill (and I jest you not) to "ban internet gambling"

Idiots and cretins.

But why does this bother me? I hear you cry (or maybe just mention matter-of-factly). Well, I'll tell you why:

1. Removing one of the biggest markets means less activity - so less profits, so less cash to give away as incentives/promos and maybe even higher rakes for the rest of us.

2. Why would you kick one of the fastest growing (and revenue-generating) industries in the nuts - especially if you've let tobacco and fast-food industries merrily kill your citizens for many a decade? Unless of course the deciding factor is that a lot of these companies (with no 'real' assets to house anywhere) are overseas?

3. Who the hell decided it was the Government's job to say what is and what isn't morally acceptable for it's citizens to do? Gambling's going to send all the kids straight to hell, is it? I'd've thought sitting on your SuperSize arses watching the unutterable sh!7e served up by the American networks every day, moving only to pick up the phone and order another gaudy trinket from BuyTV, would have sent you to hell quicker. But who am I to argue.

Phew. Right, enough of that. Back to more pressing matters - I have no idea whether you're on BBC1 or BBC3-time for Spooks, but either way both of the last two episodes were top-notch. Without giving too much away, they were the summit one, and the prison one. Although the Mace character (JIC chairman) is a total twunt, I can't help but like the man. For the TV anoraks out there, the guy who plays him (Tim McInnerny) also played Percy in the Blackadder series. Knowledge!

Finally (if there's still anyone left out there), I recall Lunt asking for photos to liven up this page. Well, here's a hark back to an earlier post:

What a beast. Mildly funny story - was going up to the shed the other night, after it had been raining. Stepped on the area where Amber now resides - cue me sinking to my ankle, and shiteing it that I'd go all the way down and have a Pet Sematary moment. Fortunately I just ended up with a muddy sock - which isn't quite a bone-chilling story. Hey ho.

2006-09-22T19:45:00.000Z

This is not, the worst program in the wo-o-orld, no..

..oh no, hang on, yes it is. Eastenders that is. Currently sat here typing away while the missus watches the biggest load of tripe it's ever been my misfortune to overhear.
Though with the wonders of YouTube, at least I can distract myself with clips from one of the finest shows on TV - Spooks. As some of you (ie Millers) won't have seen series 5 yet, I'll avoid putting in any spoilers. But here for your delectation is one of the best scenes from series 3, when Danny buys the farm. Your personal favourite Spooks moment? Voice your opinions now...

Now we're cooking

2006-09-02T23:25:00.000Z

Clearly this is a work-in-progress, but please take a little time to holler at my Java skills.

This colour scheme is awful, but having been inspired by MM's post on AE's blog (?) it does allow me to brand OG a GREAT BIG BUMMER, without fear of reprise.

Until I decide to change the colours again of course.

Btw, http://www.jafar.com/java/csel/ is a great tool for selecting your fave colours, should you be harsed to pimp yo page.

Finally, a big holler out to Amber, one of the finest hamsters to grace this land. She finally snuffled her last snuffle last Thursday night, and has now gone to a better place.
Well, the end of the garden at least, in a Clark's shoe box - keeping it old school till the end.

Peace out, y'all.

There you are Lunt!

2006-08-29T12:44:00.000Z

My very own blogspace. I'm sure at some point it will have something worth reading on. Or maybe not.